Borderlands: Vault Wars
by Deadi1025
Summary: The Eridians, a race thought extinct, have returned after being unwittingly unleashed by 4 unlikely characters into the galaxy but they are anything but grateful. Instead they plan to rebuild their ancient empire by conquering everything while destroying or enslaving anyone who stand in their way. The Golden Age of Vault Hunting is over. The Age of the Vault Wars has begun.
1. Prologue in Purgatory

Are you children ready for another story from good ol' Uncle Marcus? Do your ears have the wanting to hear more tales about the legendary Vaults? Of stories filled with danger? Of grand Adventure? Of treasures without end? Well I'll just be talking to myself if you weren't and like it or not you're hearing one right now.

For those who do not know and to those who are curious, the Vaults are just like what it sounds. They are vaults of untold riches created by an ancient alien species forgotten by the history books. Who they are or where they came from is beyond me. And I frankly don't care. If you want to know more about them, bring it up to Tannis. That'll keep her yapping for days and out of my hair.

But what I do know about them is that they are an advanced and intelligent civilization but were stupid enough to get wiped out. By what or how is a mystery. But they did not disappear before leaving all their goodies behind. Gift wrapped with a big pretty bow. Ready for the taking.

Hence, Vaults. The legacy of an extinct race. Containing anything from troves of Alien Tech, to chasms filled to the brim with treasure and riches, to hordes of advanced weaponry that could level planets, to lairs of monstrous beasts itching to be unleashed. Or so I've heard, so the stories went, and so they turned into legends that grew as time passed by.

Now unlike the others I have told before, we aren't starting our story in our planet of Pandora. The place where the legends of Vaults first appeared. So that also means that we won't be seeing much of your favorite Vault Hunters any time soon. Maybe. I dunno. So stop asking.

I mean seriously. C'mon now, the galaxy is a big place and the universe doesn't revolve around a dozen people. That's just lazy writing if you ask me.

Ahem.

We begin our tale on Vulcan-C14. A massive gas planet with a bright hellish red hue of lava and flames befitting the god it was named after. A harsh and uninhabitable planet twice the size of Jupiter surrounded by over a thousand moons. Of the few moons that anyone had time to name, we have Dante IX.

A dry barren rock pocked with deep black chasms, sharp pointed mountains, and covered to the brim by a fuckton of craters. Just like my ex-ex-wife. And like my ex-ex-wife, the whole moon is devoid of any forms of life because of everything that comes a knocking at it every few days and too toxic for anything to grow on it. Save for however a human settlement sticking out in the far remote corner of the moon. On the dark side, if you will. Just like my ex-ex-wife.

The settlement was aptly called the _Purgatory._ The largest Maximum Security Prison in the Sector. A real man made hell where they kept the worst men and women that humanity had to offer. A Prison but leaned closer to a concentration camp under the funding of the Militaristic, and definitely Fascist, Dahl Corporation.

Those guys there do know how to throw aesthetics out of the window and make everything imposing, impenetrable and fearsome. Just like the rest of their products on the market. Ironically though, this just made the prison the safest place in the planet's orbit.

But then you'd ask, "but wait a minute, you just said that the planet was completely hostile to anything with a pulse? Barren wasteland. Daily meteor showers. Toxic wasteland Yata yata yata. How could anything possibly live there?"

And I'll tell you to shut the fuck up because I'm getting there. Now the next one who yaps when I'm telling the story will get shot. Then I'll have one of your friends pay for the bullets.

Now, I gotta hand it to them. As tasteless as they are in their business ventures, Dahl Corporation was anything but stupid when it comes to their real estate. To combat these threats, they built the place deep inside a massive chasm surrounded by mountains of solid glistening lead. And with the guns the Purgatory packed, you can notch of anything that would come knocking at its door. So you can notch off meteors off of your list.

The toxic landscape on the other hand, the one that could burns your skin off while puking your insides out, Dahl had these mined and harnessed these as a viable power source. Something that the prison with tens of thousands of people need in an isolated and inhospitable planet. They get it all for cheap too by using slave labor from the cons. A dangerous job of course with a high 'turnover rate'. But hey. It keeps the lights on.

It's not like they were lacking any of those in there since it is a prison after all. Prisoners are their main import after all there was never a shortage on disposable manpower. With a population of about 30,000 people, _Purgatory_ had a beating heart of a bustling city. A massive boomtown with endless winding halls, narrow alleys, crowded plazas, and towering buildings made up of cellblocks stacked in the thousands. Each looked like a life sized and massive hive. A living, breathing, noisy, and putrid smelling hive where convicts were crammed together like sardines. The latest technology and wealth that the DAHL Corporation could offer and they can't even help pay the water bill for a quick shower. I heard that the guards patrolling those halls had to wear gas masks to survive the stench that could kill someone in their rounds.

But our story doesn't start inside one those colossal hive buildings. Instead of rising the tension through more boring expositions, I think I'll just drop you straight into the middle of the action. And it sets off in one of the Watchtower's Control Room. The ones in charge of seeing and knowing everything in the prison. But what the Guards in the Control Room didn't see was the thing that just struck one of its wide windows. Not enough to shatter the glass but was strong enough to leave a sizable crack on it and was loud enough to snap everyone in the room awake.

The Guards and personnel in the room quickly jumped to their feet after hearing the loud thud. Some fell on their back in surprise while others fumbled to draw their guns. It's been a boring couple of months for them around that time. You can't blame them for being a little sloppy. But you can blame them for what happened next.

Boredom and laziness is one thing but stupidity is something else entirely. Those boys in the Watchtower just spent a second looking at the crack before shrugging it off like it was nothing. Idiots. They were just on their way back to their posts before another thing came flying in and struck the window only this time, that thing got through.

A metal spear smashed through the window and struck the floor in front of the Guards. It was an ugly thing. Nothing more than a rusted pipe with chunks and bits of scrap metal junk slapped into it. It did have a blue light blinking at the top which made it a bit pretty for the eyes. And the currents of electricity coursing up and down its shaft was a nice touch. But I still an ugly piece of shit. But what it did next was nothing short of extraordinary.

The light on top of the spear started blinking at a faster beat to the point that it blasted a bright and powerful surge of electricity. The Guards winced at the blinding light and before they knew it, a man was conjured out of thin air in front of them. Just above blinking light on the spear.

The Guards didn't need to think twice to mistake the man for anything except a convict. His bright orange prison jumpsuit makes him stand out in the crowd. He was a young man with ashen spiked hair wearing a pair of cracked goggles and a quiver of spears strapped to his back. He also has a very punchable personality just because he can get so obnoxious at every opportunity that he could spare. You'll see what I mean about that later but first let me tell you what he did next after appearing out of thin air.

Now as he was falling onto the Guards, the man took out another spear and then stabbed the Commanding Officer in the face. He pushed the spear through the man's head till it struck the ground and left the body impaled in front of the onlookers. The others were shocked – no pun intended – by how fast it was done and stunned by how sudden it happened. They never got the chance to do anything about it though because at the snap of his fingers and everybody with boots on the ground were electrocuted while he himself was left unscathed because he stood atop his two spears.

Everyone in the Watchtower screamed as they burned like a Sunday Barbecue. Dropping dead one by one. Charred meat on dry bone with salsa and ketchup splattered about by the time it was all done. All the while our magic man took a half lit cigarette from one of the dead smoldering Guard and gave off a few puffs.

 **DEX**

Prisoner No.: AC-26-2425

As the Electromancer

The sirens by then started going off all over the prison. All of the lights were lit in red. Orders were shouted out from the intercoms. Sounds of heavy footsteps were heard marching down the hall outside as Guards ran towards the door. Dex took care of them by slamming the door shut with a lever. After a hearing a loud bump and shout from the other side, he laughed while moving on to his next step.

Dex knew that it wouldn't take long for them to pry the thing open. He could already hear the Guards outside hammering and prying the doors open. However he somehow paid more attention to the cigarette he was smoking and to what was happening outside. Looked down from behind the wide windows, he watched the people on the lower levels moving frantically like ants. The Guards scrambling around for order. Prisoners clamoring inside their cells. Small fights were beginning to break out between the two factions and with each other. The whole place was a powder keg ready to blow. All he needed was to set off just one more spark.

Before he could set that off though, a song playing from a dead Guard's Echoplayer caught his eye. Or in this case, ear. Dex apparently had an odd taste for the classics. As if he wasn't odd enough already. The Echoplayer played an old song, I'm a Wanted Man by Royal Delux.

Ever the grand showman, Dex plugged the Echoplayer to the Watchtower's speakers and shared the song for all to hear before sticking a virus laden USB into the system.

A virus moved fast and infected the System Mainframe and like wildfire it spread throughout the entire Prison. It did not take long for it to do its magic. The Cameras in every corner of the prison started shutting off one by one. The flying security Drones started deactivating one by one and fell from the sky to the onlookers on the ground. The same thing went for the turrets on the walls and those set up on the gates. Every computer screen, panel, and hologram became static. Disabled. Some screens showed a brief logo through the static soup.

You see, it was Dex's calling card. An 8-bit spider with a red 8 pointed star of arrows pointing out. He likes to leave this around just to let people know that all of this is his doing.

The virus saved the best part for last. The chaos that was happening were nothing but appetizers for the evening's main course. And it was served when every gate and every door in the prison whooshed wide open. And that includes the thousands of cells in those hives.

The powder keg was lit and then all of hell in _Purgatory_ broke loose.

Hordes of killers, murderers, thieves, cannibals, tax evaders, and psychopaths were spat out of their cramped cells. Cons being cons, they didn't think twice to get some payback for years of living under the Guards' boots and under rival Gangs' thumbs. They ganged up on any Guard they got their hands on like moths to a flame the beat up, gutted, and tore them to pieces.

In the face of all this Chaos, Dex watched it all - with my guess is with ecstatic glee - from atop the Watchtower. He was actually one cliché away from doing the evil laugh when the doors behind him blasted open and a dozen Guards came charging through the smoke. Guns drawn. But Dex didn't have the time to entertain them with an exchange of lead. He already teleported away before any of the Guards had a chance to pull the trigger. But he didn't pop out before flicking his used cigarette at them with a particular finger.

You could not have seen a more violence and chaos like this outside of the Borderlands. The endless dark halls echoed with gunfire, unintelligible shouting, and sounds of brutal slaughter. Like how most chaos goes it wasn't an even fight for any side. The Guards had guns but the convicts had numbers. Outnumbering the former 5 to 1 and a pissed off attitude. A few Cons got their hands on some from the dead but it's going to take more than that to even the odds.

One group of convicts managed to break into one of the armories and got a hold on to the flashier guns in its arsenal. Dahl may make the most unsightly guns but boy will I pay big money to get my hands on what they have in those armories. Those idiots there thought the same and took their sweet time admiring the artillery that they failed to notice a squad of Guards setting up right outside. Amateurs. It was like shooting fish in a barrel once the flashbangs and teargas were thrown in. Convicts came running out of the armory half blind and didn't get a chance to let out a cough before they all got gunned down.

The Guards were in the middle of checking their ammo and reloading their weapons by the time our next player strolled out of the smoke. He was a hulking brute with massive bulging muscles and under each arm he carried a pair of heavy machine guns. But unlike our somewhat-favorite midget, this one was a giant with bulging muscles so big that he could barely squeeze out of the armory's doors. This man so large that the largest prison uniform size was still too small and was worn as an open vest.

For you girls and gays out there, I'm sorry to disappoint you because this giant is no bronze skinned Adonis. Like our dwarvish friend, this one is a sight for sore eyes. He is a shambling mess of a Frankenstein's monster with thick leather like skin. One that was poorly stitched together by a talentless tailor with a blunt needle and a stapler. I could say the same for the grease monkey that stuck rusty metal braces on the man's limbs, gears bolted onto his limbs, and pistons hammered onto his back.

Chipped screwed and bent nails were visibly hammered into him to keep it all in place. But none of that compared to the massive metal jaw of hardened iron that is bolted to his lower mandible of his mouth. This thing is made of layers of painted scrap metal with sharp jagged teeth that covered half of his ugly mug.

Put all of these together, and you get yourself one scary piece of work.

 **RICTUS**

Prisoner No.: SL-12-4567 **  
**As the IronHyde

You'd be as startled just like those Guards the moment you get a look at this monster. To see it look you in the eye would scare the piss out of your pants. I knew I did when I first got a look at him. The big fella here knew it too and used that distraction to digistruct parts of mismatched pieces of bulky heavy metal plates of armor onto himself complete with an ugly metal mask with glowing red eyes. The transformation finished off with the appearance of two more massive guns attached over his shoulders in addition to the two guns that he already had.

All of this was done under 3 seconds. By the count of 3, the Guards snapped out of their shock and started shooting at him but by then it was too late. Bullets bounced off of him like BB pellets but the Guards never stood a chance once Rictus started shooting. There was barely anything left of them by the time it was over. Nothing left standing in the halls save for Rictus walking down the empty hallways past the thick cloud of gunpowder, the countless simmering bullet holes, the scraps of junk scattered on the floor, and chunks of meat splattered on the walls.

You can find the same scene happening in another part of the prison but instead of Guard's it was the convicts in the receiving end. Alleyways were decorated with their limbs and were full of groaning wounded. The convicts were on the run. Running away from the big guns in the Guard's arsenal. The Dahl Powersuits.

Boy do I want to get one of those. 5 meters tall, thick plated, big armed, and big gunned Mechs with massive .100 Autocannons that could mow down a crowd like spring grass. Nothing the cons could throw at them couldn't leave a dent on their armor. Not with their nail boards, Molotovs, or metal pipes. Not even with the guns they stole. One thing's for sure, one Powersuit is enough to beat a whole lot of folks to paste.

The sight of one coming at you was enough to convince anyone that they're in for some bad news. Some needed more convincing than the others but they quickly got the point once a few limbs were blown apart. The convicts were routing. Hightailing through the halls as fast as their feet could take them. Stampeding through without caring for what they were stepping on as they did. All of them were running away from the danger. All except for a girl with a mad crazy look in her eye.

None of the other convicts stopped to think to pull her or turn her the other way. No one even noticed her in their panic. Out of fear. Yes. Out of selfishness. Sure. Her short height must have made it easier for the others to miss her as she made her way towards the Giant Mech.

Now you look at her and you'll see all sorts of crazy on her. Her head was twitching like a garden sprinkler. A bush full of unkempt hair that scattered at her every move. Black bloodshot eyes that never seemed to blink. Fingers fiddling in the air like she's playing a piano. Giggling at nothing under her breath. But craziest of it all was when she started running towards the Mech.

Although the fact that her outfit was a torn straightjacket and the fact that they were in the solitary confinement area should have been a big hint.

Hmmm.

Anyway, while she ran zigzagged down the hall past the hail of gunfire, the pupils in her eyes grew wide as dinner plates. Her smile as wide as that Cat in a Carrol's story then started laughing at nothing like a maniac. Going faster and faster the closer she got to the Mech.

Whether by pure skill or dumb luck, not a single slug hit its mark. I ask the same question every time I see her in action. Or whenever I hear stuff about her. Like when she took down a guard, stole and set off a smoke bomb, disarmed him for his gun, and used it to shoot back at the others while using the same Guard as cover. I mean does she plan it all out? Or does she just plays it along as she goes?

Her 'shield' didn't last that long. Especially not against a Dahl Powersuit's heavy artillery. He was no more than Chum after eating a burst. But when the Dahl Powersuit turned its sights onto the girl, the pilot found the girl was latched onto his Mech's arm. She jumped on top of him and shot him down at point blank range. She fired her gun at him fully automatic and was laughing the entire time. Maniacally as the empty cartridges and blood was splattering all over her.

 **Mina**

Prisoner No.: PV-07-1112

The LooseCannon

The whole Mech tipped over. Fell on its back with the girl still on top. The pilot was as dead as a doornail by then but Mina kept on shooting. She didn't stop shooting until she finished drawing a perfect smiley face on the dead man's chest. Complete with cross eyes and a tongue.

By the time Mina finished, another group of Guards popped up across the plaza. She could have hid behind the Mech and waited for them to pass by. But no. Her adrenaline was still kicking and she was still in a mood to shoot at something. That would have been a good idea too if there were bullets in that gun of hers.

Yeah. That's what you get for wasting your ammo on a cadaver, you idiot. Instead, the only good your stunt did was exposing yourself to the Guards.

They spotted her for that of course and didn't think twice to fire at her once they got in range. Mina ducked for cover and was safe behind the busted Dahl Powersuit but she won't soon since the Guards were on their way to flank around her. MIna rummaged for some ammo for her empty gun. A spare magazine was only an arm's reach from her but the bullets made it impossible for her to get to it without losing something.

With the use of a lock of her hair, a fishhook piercing, and Mina's quick thinking, the magazine quickly made it to her hands. While she was fumbling to load her gun, Mina noticed that bullets weren't clanking on her cover anymore. Don't get me wrong, there was still sounds of gunfire popping around but none of them had her name on it. She was also hearing sounds of screaming and groaning coming from the Guards.

Mina tried taking a peak but a close call from a bullet convinced her that it was better to wait out the danger. But her curiosity was going strong and patience was quickly running out. She peaked her ear to know just what was happening. She listened to the sounds and imagined just what they could be.

She heard sounds of loud snapping bones. Like scrunching sounds when you eat deep fried chicken fresh from the grill. There were sounds of people being thrown around and something like water balloons splattered against the walls. She kept hearing the the sounds of people choking. Loud gurgling water that poured down the drain, and so on. The sound that she couldn't imagine amidst all that other noise was the loud screeching noise. Noise that pierced her ears to a close and sent shivers crawling up her spine.

A Guard then flew above her. The Guard was like a broken rag doll with limbs that bent on the wrong places. I don't doubt that she's be amazed at seeing that but that face quickly turned to shock when she saw something dart out at it like an arrow and tore through the man before pulling him back before everything went quiet.

Mina took this chance to come out from her hiding spot and catch whatever was behind the wall with its pants were down. What she didn't expect though was her gun flying from her hand before her finger could reach the trigger and finding it in the mouth of a black monster with fresh blood and chunks dripping down its mouth.

It looked like a serpent and was even uglier to look at up close. I gotta give it to her, it took guts for Mina to look at it eye to eye. I wouldn't even think to be that close around that monster even if you paid me. The thing looked like something from out of this world and closer to the monsters you see in horror movies with good CGI. Surprisingly, Mina had a thing for that genre. Practically worships it and I wouldn't be surprised that she had taken a liking for it there and then.

This thing though…this beast was no serpent but it's the closest thing I could use to describe it to you. It's a Demon with rows upon rows of black needle like teeth, damp hair as rough as a mangy mutt, and scaly skin that faintly glew like burning coals. Coals that are smoldering red with faint black smoke coming out of its spine.

The Demon circled her menacingly like a predator about to strike and it was was just about to when a shrill whistle stopped it on its tracks. Too close of a call since it was just an inch away from Mina's face when it stopped. A half a second too late then it would have taken a fresh chunk out of her pretty little face. Instead it growled at the girl half an inch away. Mina mentioned later that she tried her best not to puke after smelling whatever was rotting inside that thing's mouth but that's another story for another time.

Anyway, the whistle came from this hooded man Mina didn't notice was in front of her across the plaza. Surrounding him were the bodies of the Guards and his arms were drenched in their blood. The man's left arm in particular had a faint trail of black smoke that led to the serpent who slowly flew towards him with an annoyed look at its face.

As the hooded man walked towards her barefooted, Mina saw that that he was a fellow convict like her. His prison outfit looked like what was left of the straightjackets they used for solitary confinement but this one was torn and stitched sloppily together to make the crude hood. The guy was no tailor and his outfit showed much of his decrepit body that was covered to the bone with black ink tattoos. The tattoos didn't show any type of gang signs that Mina was familiar with in the prison. Unlike those, these were printed intricately with a certain style of art. Written in some exotic script that had a lot of tails in them. Up until now, no one but that man knew what they all meant.

Now here comes the odd part. The man raised his left arm and met with the Serpent Demon. The thing then begrudgingly met with the man's open hand and slithered into it. Slithered FUCKING into it. I shit you not. And here I thought that I've seen it all from all the shit I've gone through with the others. The snake then dug deep into this guy's skin and coiled itself around his arm, becoming just like many tattoos that the man had on him. Teeth, eyes, scales and all with its head peering out on his hand.

And **Nergal**

Prisoner No.: MW-24-0024

As 'the Freak'

Now you'd think that Mina would be grateful to this man, this Nergal character, for keeping his dog on a leash. But in case you slackjaws forgot just what Nergal is and where they all are, you won't last long if you were on her shoes. So no. Mina wasn't thankful. She instead kept both eyes on the Mad Monk the entire time while slowly reached out for one of shotguns lying around. With her bare feet, she kicked it up to her hands and aimed it right at him.

Nergal only had his bloody shiv on hand but he had that beast stuck on his arm. He whispered to it in a guttural tongue and brought the monster back to life. The serpent hissed back and its eyes glowed red.

The two of them were about to jump at each other's throats before a spear landed in front of them. The Electromancer followed soon after. Popping out from a spark and fell to his knees out of breath. My bet was that he was in a middle of running away from a fight but ended up finding himself in another one. Looking at the two, he spat before he taking out another spear then slowly backed himself to a corner with Sparks were popping out of him and electricity was surging from his spears.

It didn't take long for Rictus to add himself into the picture. The trio heard his footsteps before actually seeing him behind the smoke. He walked towards them without his armor. Banged up and bleeding but that didn't make him any less dangerous or weak. Rictus still had the strength to tear off the arm off from the disabled Dahl Powersuit with his bare hands. He took the autocannon attached to it and tossed the rest aside like a broken toy. Cocked, locked, and loaded, he pointed the oversized gun at the other three.

And there we have it folks. Our four protagonists in our story. An odd bunch of criminals, killers, and thieves. The very people who would define the future of humanity against the coming threat and they are just about to shoot each other to kingdom come. Typical.

They were strangers to each other at the time so don't expect them to exchange favors. First time meeting and already they didn't like one another. No want for conversation except for their guns who are itching to be chatty. But we all know what's going to happen eventually. I mean if they all shot at each other then there wouldn't be much of a story to tell except for a blue-balled introduction to nowhere.

They'll be helping each other out later but that doesn't mean they'll be getting along any time soon. But let them hate each other now. The good they'll do to each other in the coming fights will end up meaning more to each other when it comes. Now 9 out of 10 this wouldn't work but chance that it does it would do a lot of good for them and it would do a lot of good for the people in this galaxy. Especially for the War that was coming. And it started the very moment these 4 convicts first encountered each other in that very plaza.

Well that's it for now, children. Now if you'll excuse me, I've been sober for too long now and Uncle Marcus needs to get himself a drink before I could say more.


	2. One Step Ahead

Now where were we…?

Ah yes. Ehem.

In the span of a couple of minutes, the _Purgatory's_ 'spotless' reputation as being the most secure prison in the Vulcan System has just gone up in smoke and I mean this in literal sense too as the riot continued to spread all over the prison. The besieged Guards were barely keeping things under control while endless hordes of Convicts wrecked and tore up anything they got their hands on from all sides.

It was everything that Dex could have hoped for. Everything he had planned for the moment he first stepped foot in that damned space station. Now, for a guy who's absurdly Obsessively Compulsive and comically impatient, it amazes…and scares me when I see just how far he'd go if he sets his mind on something. And whenever he does, he'd make a big show out of it and he loves nothing more than to watch it all play out at the front row seat.

Too bad that he never got a chance to see any of that. Not from where he's standing. Imagine the disappointed - and no doubt annoyed – look in the brat's face when the most interesting thing in their little Mexican Standoff were the others' stink eyes and watching for any sudden moves from the opposing party.

As good as Dex's Poker Face was for all there to see, his mind was churning up a storm. Pissed off as hell no doubt after seeing all his plans were being thrown out of the window. But what he hated more than that was the concept of waiting. Might as well call it torture since the self-styled genius see every second as more like an hour based on the way this guy thinks. He describes as something close to a supercomputer or some shit like that. I dunno. I just say that he's got OCD and simply gets bored of things easily. Hints of a couple erratic blinking on Dex's part gives us a hint on just how much stress the boy had in the situation.

"WellthingsaredefinitelyNOTgoingaccordingtoplan." Dex started muttering to himself. "TheoddsofaBrute,aWhore,aZealot,andaseriesofunfortunateeventstopopoutoffuckingnowhereandfuckupallmyplans. Think. Think. ThinkDex. Think. Thisain'ttheworstpickleyougotyourselfinto. Thinkofawayout. Thinkyourwayout. Ticktockticktock. DAMNIT! Thewindowsclosingfast. IgottagetoutofthispickleandmakethroughStep33ofTHEPLAN. Orelseallthattimeandeffortisallcaput! CaputDAMMIT! ButIcantbestupid. Neverstupid. Stupidgetsyoukilled. Thefirstmoveherewillgetyoukilledhere. Especiallyinsituationslikethisonehere…"

Jedidiah Christ this guy talks a mouthful. Did you get any of that? I'm the one telling the story here and even I didn't get much out of that monologue. Whatever the hell he said though, something in there gave him the metaphorical lightbulb in the head. Feel free to figure out what that is just before the big guy, Rictus pops into the scene with a brutish and booming voice.

He went off something like, "Oy! Ya got somefin ta say fer da rest o' us, ya git? Or ya gonna keep yammerin' crazy ta yaself all day?"

Talking is kind of a challenge for him – and imitating it is a lot harder - with that metallic underbite chomping on his words like a sledgehammer. His metal jaws gets in the way of how he spoke and it got in the way of him being so loquacious when speaking – or be understood - but it does work wonders that adds more to his very menacing persona.

And it shut Dex's mouth but not before he casted a small glimmer in his eye. Almost like a proverbial lightbulb popped above his head with a 'Ding'. Of course he didn't make this obvious in front of the others. Instead, he reached for the side of his collar with his mouth. The others saw this of course and had their guns at him. They were about to shoot when Dex pulled out…a cigarette.

Now here's when he did something cool. With the cigarette at his mouth, he lit it with a spark then blew off a few rings. One for each person.

"Smartass." Rictus said.

This was when the other runt, Mina, snorted and spat a glob at the floor. This of course got everyone's attention and got her under the spotlight.

"Who'da-who would've th-thought that these Mexican standoffs were so booooring." Mina whined in between her spasms and head tics. Her head kept snapping to the sides and stuttered with her words every couple of seconds. "This is anything but in-intense-s or even as cool as what they show of in the-the movies. Calling that b-bullshit. The only thing I'm getting out of this one is the itch that's biting my ass. Are we gonna get this sh-show on the road, or what?"

"By all means. Start already if you want. No one else is getting in your way of that." Dex answered back in between puffs. "But before you do. You don't mind me finishing a fag, right? I mean. I might as well have and enjoy one too. Just before the Brother Death comes a knocking unannounced."

"Keep babbling. And that-tsk-that Durry o' yours'll be your last." Mina quipped. "It's bad enough tha-t your face pisses m-me off. But hearing y-your voice piss-pisses me off even more! Now stow it b-before I redecorate your ugly m-mug."

Think that's funny huh? Comedic? A half-starved little girl with an oversized shotgun, a stutter that sounded like a broken record on repeat, and tics like a garden sprinkler adding all that to intimidate someone Well Dex thought so and he's having a hard time keeping himself together whenever the girl had the nerve to threaten him. Whether she does it when relapsing or when in tip top shape, Dex would sit back and fan the flames every time.

How either of them are still alive after all this time till now is beyond me.

"C'mon let's not get to that now." Dex sarcastically said. "I'm just trying to make new friends here. I wouldn't mind having one of you lots as one. I could always use more cannon fodder as I make my way off to the exit. What say you, Big Guy?"

Rictus here just growled back. Maybe he said something here. Maybe he didn't. I dunno. So let's just say that he growled.

"And I'd rather have you on the floor. Bleeding and licking r-rust." Mina spat. "Then maybe I can pay-pay your boyfriend a v-visit soonafter. Let him have a-a taste. Of what a real wo-woman oughta be."

"Se-se-se-say wu-wu-what now?" Dex asked mockingly. "Sorry girl but I don't speak Dudududubstep. I'm more into country music if I say so myself." He turned to the other two. "And to set the record straight to everyone else in the room, I ain't a queer. So sorry to disappoint if any of you are."

Mina's face and ears were already simmering red to the point of spouting steam. Her teeth were grinding dust. Her tics became more rampant and her eye twitched at a much faster pace. She struggled to open her mouth in the midst of her fury. But before she could shout it all out, she was cut off by Rictus.

"A fag'z 'notha term ya call fer a smoke, Pipsqueak." Rictus said.

"You t-talking to me, bogan?!" Mina turned to the colossal Rictus.

"I dunno what your m-major malfun-function is pal but the only pipsqueak I see round-d these parts is whatever you're p-packing."

"She ain't as cultured as we are, big guy." Dex said to Rictus. "Where she's from, the little midget wouldn't know anything that goes beyond what's inside someone's pants."

Rictus barked out a booming laugh that shot throughout the entire chamber. This was made louder when Dex joined in the mix. Nergal stayed clear of the humor the entire time. It looks like his pet 'snake' that did most of the talking between the two as it hissed and growled while reminding everyone that they was in the room.

Mina on the other hand. Now, you'd expect her to snap right about now and she did but not in the way you'd expect. She was for a moment at a daze. More composed instead of being pissed while cracking her knuckles one by one. Each time made her look like a different person. The red on her face was now at a pale hue. Her eyes grew sharper with her pupils dilating wide open. Her tics and spasms ceased and started speaking clearly with a different tone of voice.

"You wanna piece of me, Motherfucker?" Mina said in monotone.

Rictus noticed the change in the girl's aura and got all serious like as he gripped on his gun tight. His gut might have told him there that the fireworks was about to start but this quickly changed after hearing what Dex said. That boy seriously did not know when to shut up.

"5 bucks for 5 minutes?" Dex shot back mockingly. "No thanks. I'd rather not catch anything, you bug bite chested slut."

"Am liking you more o'redy!" Rictus laughed.

"Then get to know more of each other better…IN HELL!" Mina said playfully then in a sinister tone before cocking her gun and started the long awaited fun.

Dex was waiting for this from the start. The moment the girl raised her gun at him, in a split second, a current of electricity surrounded Dex before tossing a spear to the side. He then disappearing in a flash of light that blinded everyone in the chamber. Though her vision was blurry, Mina fired her weapon at the silhouette of a man in front of her. Once her sight returned, she did not see Dex being chewed up by lead. It was Rictus.

The giant took the Electromancer's place. Too dazed by the first time experience of being teleported and confused at the sudden turn of events, the big guy was fully open to take the full brunt of Mina's barrage of gunfire. I guess he wasn't called the IronHyde just for show. The giant held his own against the barrage without falling over but he did get pushed back after every blast.

Whether it was Dex or Rictus It didn't matter for her either way. In fact, the latter made for an easier target for Mina. The gun's recoil kicked her hard and bruised her shoulder. This made aiming a little bit difficult after every shot and the rate of fire was a little slow because of its size but the girl kept shooting. She cackled maniacally the entire time. We might have a masochist in our hands here, ladies and gentlemen.

She was blinded by adrenaline. Intoxicated by the smell of gunpowder. Addicted to the sound of gunfire. Our little LooseCannon was enjoying herself too much to the point of ecstasy that she didn't notice Dex charging his spears a few feet right next to her. He was just about to fry the little imp when he noticed Nergal sick his pet demon at him.

Dex quickly crossed his spears together that shat out currents of electricity. The snake hit the shield head on and recoiled. Nergal however came out from nowhere and made a slash at Dex's side. Dex quickly dodged it and kicked the Mad Monk to the ground but the Monk rolled backwards, regaining his footing, and then jumped at him with his shiv in tow. His snake was not far behind him. They were less than a foot away when Dex struck the floor with his other spear – the one he was charging - and unleased a surge of energy that blasted his enemy and the others away. Face first onto the floor.

Now this wouldn't be that good of a story if half of the main characters are dead this early on in the story. The spear Dex used lacked the energy to fry anyone like the Guards on the Watchtower. This stunned them instead. It singed them a bit and gave him enough breathing room to walk out of room in one piece. All according to plan.

Or so he thought.

As amazing to watch and as effective as his move set was on dealing with anything corporeal, namely knocking them out a couple of feet away, it wasn't so effective to something INcorporeal. Like the Monk's demon snake for example.

It slithered in the air and flew at an arc, striking Dex on the side. Sending him flying across the room and onto an iron studded wall. No doubt that it hurt like hell and may have broken a thing or two because it took a while - and a lot of effort to get himself - upright. No doubt doing it with a loud groan. He could taste blood in his mouth and struggled to get on his feet only to find Nergal crouched in front of him with his hands on his knees looking at him eye to eye. His snake slithered lazily to his side.

If you think that the servant is already scary, wait till you meet its master.

You guess right that out of all of them Nergal scares me the most. The others in his merry band of cons are no different from the guys I've come across every time I step outside. The violent, conniving, foul mouthed, and stupid bunch. But not Nergal. He adds something different in the mix.

I can't really explain it in words and you won't get it unless you're there. Best I could say is that he's straight up weird guy. Not the teenage-no-one-gets-me kind of weird or hippie-pot-smoker-weird. But the chill-up-your-spine kinda weird. The unpredictable-stab-you-in-the-jugular-when-you-thought-you've-known-him kinda weird. Simply having him step into the room is enough to kill any mood and set the temperature lower than Aurelia Hammerlock on a bad day. And all that's without mentioning his pet snake. You get me? No?

Well take what Nergal's doing to Dex – and most of the interesting people he's met - for example. He leaned in close and look at Dex eye to eye as though putting him in a trance. All the while without saying a word. Looking close, Dex saw his own reflection inside Nergal's pitch black eyes. He found himself there alone. Surrounded by shadows that were slowly creeping in until he was swallowed whole. And Dex could swear that the tattoos on Nergal were moving or dancing around.

Dex started sweating bullets for some reason. His hands began trembling. His chest felt like it was punching him. His hair went straight up and his breathing started getting heavy. It took a whole lot of effort for his to snap himself out of...whatever it was Nergal was doing and quickly tried skewering him with his spear.

Tried, since Nergal quickly caught it an inch away from his own face. All without breaking eye contact from the Electromancer. While he did that, his bony finger traced the active weapon. Barely wincing even when the sparks were hitting his skin.

Now remember that all of this is happening at a fast pace here now. And before Dex could react to any of this, Nergal already had him by the neck and raised him on the wall.

"So the architect of this madness…has revealed itself at last." Nergal said with a coarse voice. "As was predicted and shown unto me. How fortunate…that it all played out fruitfully and have revealed yourself here to me. The gods smile upon me."

"The fuck are you on about… creep?" Dex croaked in between gasps since he had Nergal's bony fingers digging into his throat.

A shame it didn't do anything to kill his buzz. Even when he knew that he was already paralyzed from the waist down from getting struck by the snake and flew off across the room then hitting hard on the wall. These guys ain't superheroes kids. Dex was lucky that he managed to survive it and barely managed to stay conscious amidst the pain.

I give him extra points for his dedication to the art.

"If you're going for the dirty old…priest routine, do heels to Jesus with the 12 year old looking…girl…behind you. She does that for a living. That Mina."

"I have no interest in such vulgarity. Nor do we have the time for pointless banter. You know this much as well, sorcerer." Nergal shot upright and raised his other hand halfway in the air. "Time is running short for all of us and the window closes."

"I've…I've got no one else to thank but you…fuckers for that." Dex said "Let's just get…this fucking over with. I'm starting…to see spots. I wanna stay…awake at least…when I die."

"No one is fated to die in this chamber tonight." Nergal said. His grip on the guy loosened just enough to keep him from falling into a coma caused by suffocation.

"Tell that to those guys." Dex motioned at the two bodies behind the Monk who simply scoffed.

"You know as well as I do that those two has not yet passed to the nether. The gods will not permit it. At least not yet. They still have some use of them as of now. Just like you."

He then unceremoniously dropped Dex on his ass like a prom night dumpster baby.

"You're barking at the wrong tree here, old man." Dex snarled while laying broken on the floor. "I don't believe in invisible farts and I have no plans in serving or working with personified dicks that doesn't exist."

"Nor will you and nor will I force you, heretic." Nergal said as he crouched down to meet Dex eye to eye. "But we can still reach for an accord. A deal if you will with you."

"Obviously you want out here. I mean, why leave your cell otherwise?" Dex answered back. "But you couldn't because you're a good bitch and your 'gods' haven't given you the go signal yet to get out of here. My guess is that they made that call the moment I started this entire shindig."

"Amongst other things." Nergal said with an eye twitching like crazy. "You are not wrong."

Now if it weren't for his gods telling him not to kill this little cunt, he would have done so the moment it opened its mouth. And there's no doubt that Dex knew about all of this so he really made an effort to fuck with him even more.

"Say, if your god's are so powerful how come they didn't have the power to, I dunno, unlock your cell? Destroy this place with their 'All-So-Mighty-Power'? Or get you out themselves instead of relying on a guy who doesn't want give too shits about them?"

Nergal was about to say something here but Dex didn't give him that chance.

"Nah. It doesn't matter either way." Dex said with a smirk. "Long story short is, you need me. Right?"

"Yessss." Nergal seethed.

Poor guy. Even when he's stuck between a rock and a hard place, Dex still managed to find a way to hold on to all of the cards. And he always made sure that everyone in the room knows it.

"Well, I'm honored for the recognition. I'd get up and shake that hand of yours if it weren't for me being paralyzed. Thanks for that too, asshole." Dex casually said. "Now go do your voodoo shit so we can get the fuck out of here. I can still salvage your fuckups with the time we have left. I can't be really sure though really now get started with your magic hands already."

Dex reached a hand out to Nergal. The type that was asking a handshake, mind you but Nergal looked at it hesitantly. He's probably thinking of why he felt that he was the one getting the bad side of a deal despite getting what he wanted.

"Hey, buddy." Dex called out. "Don't think much about it. I just figured that any deal is a better deal than what I got right now. So let's get whatever this is over and done with. Go for broke."

"So you accept the terms?" He asked with obvious suspicion.

"Like signing up for an ECHO account." Dex said but he quickly noticed that the Monk didn't get his joke so he exclaimed with a big sigh, "Yes I accept your deal and I will see it through to the end. It's not like I have a choice in the matter in the end now do I, old man."

"We all have a choice, child." Nergal said then grabbed hold of Dex's hand. "Because our choices in the end make us."

Dex simply gave him a smug look while Nergal casted his spell. It was something that translated to 'You're my Bitch'. Something that even Nergal understood clear as day. So Nergal did what he has agreed to do but he made sure to do it as painful as he could. Just short of a foot away from giving him a coma.

Whether it's Nanotech, Science, Black Magic, or Cheap Party Trick, Nergal delivered. For someone as smart as Dex or as crazy as Tannis, none of them could figure out just how Nergal does what he does with all that chanting and what they consider as illusions. But it did gets the job done.

Even under this much stress, amazingly this guy still wouldn't shut up! He kept on rambling stuff like,

"WOW, This really hurts! Like really bad! FUUUUUCK ME Sideways up in the ass, bad! SHIT! AAAAGH! If yOu aSK me to cONvert to your..ga..goDS right here and now…AAAARGH…I'm about 50/50 from saying yes! AARGH! THAt's hOw bad this hurts! F-FUCK! This feELs liKe grabbing OnTO a hOT GriLL iN a BarBeQUE! SHIT! BuGs! BUGS! CReePy FuCKing cRAwliES iN mY Arm! HuNDREDs wITh TiNY LitTlE KniVES oN my BoNEs! UnDer mY sKIn! MarCHiN' Ta My BaCK! My SpiNE! I FeEL a tHOUsand nEeDLes sssTITChing me iNSiDE! mYBoNEsMyMuSClesmYneRVes! FUUUCK! I cAN feel it AlL coming together!"

Or something like that.

By the time it was over, Dex was on the floor sweating bullets and was sucking on air like a vacuum cleaner but at least he started feel his legs again. It will take a little while longer though for the pain to shoo away. Nergal in the meantime, reached out with his left hand and called out to his pet who was across the room. "Netii!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The snake was in the middle of keeping an eye on the other two while its Monk was busy with the Electromancer. It slithered up and down in the air above their heads with its fangs drawn and its tongue flicking out.

 **Netii**

Nergal's Right Hand Demon

(Keep out of Reach of Children)

Rictus was the first one who got back to his senses and quickly made a move to get on his feet with his arm firmly planted on the ground. Netii made short work of with a head-butt and sent the brute falling back to the ground on his back. It barely noticed Mina who was making a move for her shotgun but Netii got her way quick as a blink. In a blink off an eye, the gun flew off of Mina's hands and left herself at the mercy of the demon. It was just about to bite her head off when Nergal called it by its name. Like a good dog to its Master, Netii went back to its master with a slight slump on its slither.

Mina was obviously be the one to have a say to any of it first.

"Yeah you better run, you cunting worm!" She swore but groaned because of a bad case of the Charley horse messing with her limbs. "The fuck just happened? On my foot at one moment then on my back the next. My dealer never said anything about getting a kick like that."

Rictus simply growled in reply in between similar groans as he got up.

"And you." Mina turned to Rictus. "How in the bloody hell are you still up and about? I shot you more times than I can count, clear as day with me boomstick, and still have the gall to be on your toes."

"Is cuz you's been blastin' me wid a toy." Rictus pricked out a couple of bloodied rubber balls sticking out of his chest. "Now deez'd kill fings up close. Sure. But ya gonna somefing a whole lot stronga ta take me down, bitch. Real and bigga sluggas oughta do da trick."

He then flicked a rubber bullet to her forehead.

"You Reckon? My I didn't even bloody notice!" Mina said sarcastically before reaching out for the shotgun. "Damn Rent-a-Cop guns."

She then tossed the gun behind her.

"I didn't even know that they Guards had these in their loadouts. Idiots. The lot of them." By then, her muscles calmed down but she sure as he didn't. Mina cartwheeled backwards and got up like a gymnast. "Y'now, now this is why they're getting their asses handed to them all over this hellhole. How stupid can they get?"

"Probs be as dumm as da bitch oo' picked it up inna first place." Rictus answered.

"Hey! That's not on me, pal." Mina said defensively "It was the closest thing I could get my hands on when you wankers came in the picture."

"Dat's yer loss, brat. Cuz not like you, I got da best slugga in da business." Rictus motioned to his Autocannon.

"Compensating for something, pal?" Mina shot back then set her arms wide open and a mad smile on her face. "Gimme yer best shot, bogan. You got the gun, now let's see if you got the balls!"

Rictus didn't even hesitate to pull the trigger but as luck would have it the massive doors behind the girl popped open and in came a team of armed Guards with laser sights on their guns. Of course the big guy with the big gun will be getting first service so they shot at him as soon as they got him at their sights. Rictus returned the favor in kind but with a loud war cry that went something like,

"WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH!"

(Ahem)

Yeah. He went on screaming something like that while he was shooting at the guards. As if the Autocannon wasn't loud enough, he had to make any firefight louder than it already was. It was only when someone from the catwalks shot at him did Rictus stop on his tracks for a moment. The sniper's bullets got him in the arm, the chest, with one or two grazing him on the head but it didn't do jack shit in taking him down.

After taking a bullet in the jaw, Rictus set his sights on the catwalks and shot at the sniper. Full blast. Even if the catwalks had good lighting, Rictus still wouldn't have been able to get the guy since he's that bad of a shot. But give him enough bullets and everyone's problems would come crashing down in flames. The same could be said for the catwalks as it fell in front of him with the sniper in tow who tried crawling out of the debris with a couple of broken limbs.

The sniper was expecting a bullet from Rictus to end his sorry life and Rictus provided it in kind but just not in the same way as he thought. Rictus dug out the bullet he was shot with earlier from his mouth and spat it at the poor sod before bashing him to paste with the empty Autocannon. Thank god for that metal jaw of his. It made the bullet as uncomfortable as a popcorn between your teeth.

By the time Rictus made a big red mess in the chamber, Mina had already cleaned up all the other Guards in the room. He found her in the middle of the bloody mess with her trademark manic smile as she was cleaning off the blood off of her clothes.

"You're lucky I hate folks in uniform else you'd be a Cactus by now." She told him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The LooseCannon managed to get out of the killzone just before the first salvos were blasted. Mina did what she did best, scampering off like the little rat and jumped behind the Mech she took down earlier. Safe from the whizzing shots, she stood back and watched as Rictus and the Guards blow each other up to hell.

I'm not sure if I can trust how she remembered it but she said that Rictus got to kill 3 men by the time the sniper's potshots started to bother him. When the 3 remaining Guards saw that Rictus was aiming for the catwalks, they decided to take a crack at the IronHyde now that he wasn't pinning them down.

For reasons unknown – even for Mina apparently – the LooseCannon jumped out and started sprinting towards the Guards. Blasting them wildly with the Repeater pistol she stole from the Mech's dead pilot. Real bullets this time. She made sure to check. Hollow points to be exact. 18 rounds of it that flew all over the place but the Guard in front of the 3 ended up eating most of it. By the time Mina ran out of bullets, that guy was an upright bleeding ragdoll that's full of holes.

Another Guard grabbed hold of this wounded comrade and made for a retreat. The other Guard went for the front to cover them but an empty pistol struck him in the face. Mina came running and pushed him back. At the top of her voice, she hollered as she threw herself at the other two Guards. The three of them were on top of each other on the ground with Mina on top. Then she filched a Fox SMG and gunned down the other Guard before he even knew what hit him.

"Well that was a fair suck of the sav! I could sure hit the pub after all this. Or get a good shag. Or maybe both!" Mina told the Guards under her while she busied herself with reloading the gun.

The bleeding Guard had already coughed its last but Mina kept this one in the conversation by playing with his jaw like a doll. Acting like a fucking ventriloquist and gave the corpse a deep voice.

" _Ya can have a row with me, luv_." The dead Guard said. " _But I can't Crack a Fat since I've just Kicked the Bucket_."

"Aww. That's too bad." Mina said in her own voice. "But what about this friend of yours under you? She looks kinda cute."

Here she's talking about the last Guard under them. She was struggling to get out and tried reaching for her gun to no avail. But that didn't mean she was giving up though but she was already in the middle of panicking. Crying even while she tried freeing her hands from the weight.

" _Her?"_ The dead man 'said'. " _This one's got no game in her. You'd be better off Drinking with the Flies._ "

"Ain't that the truth? Ta then." Mina said to both of them before shooting at both heads with one shot.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It's around this time that Dex got through the pain. Took him long enough. Nergal noticed this too after watching how the other two convicts played and picked the man upright by the neck before giving him a hard pat in the back.

"Thanks, I guess?" Dex said while rubbing his back.

"You're thanks is not mine to have." Nergal replied monotonously.

"Aaaalrighty then. So what is up with you about them?" Dex pointed at the other two. "Where do they fit in in all this?"

"The gods have need of them as well." Nergal answered. "To what end, I do not know. But there are 4 sides of the cross and that opens the way to many paths."

"Sure…that's so insightful." Dex said sarcastically before going all serious. "So the fuck are we waiting for? Let's get this fucking thing on the road already."


End file.
